you don’t realize how tired you are until you wake up 2 hours late to something
How to talk to your family about stuff you like
- dont fucking do it
- they will make you feel like shit
"big boobs don’t count if you’re fat"
neither does a big dick if half of it is your personality
My friend went to a nerd factory. They gave him a bag of rejects and said “Enjoy your bag of diabetes.”
#i want a bag of reject nerds#oh wait i’m on tumblr they’re everywhere
Baked some iPhone cookies to trick cops into pulling me over, then I just take a bite and ask if cookies are against the law.
this should be a trojan ad
(cheesy porn music begins to play)
Contest prize nr 1: Krieg for spoopyscryskerlerterns
Tumblr Language: A Starter's Guide
Person on Tumblr: FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU. JUST LEAVE.
Translation: You are wonderful. Something that you have just done is wonderful. I love what you do/are/said/etc. Please continue in this fashion.
Person on Tumblr: HJAIOERJTIOASJFIOASD WI3ROKJIOADSF IOAEJIOKJA!!!!!
Translation: This makes me extremely emotional. Most likely in a positive sense.
Person on Tumblr: WHAT IS YOUR FACE. I CAN'T EVEN.
Translation: You are a very attractive individual. Congratulations.
Person on Tumblr: THAT'S IT. I QUIT.
Translation: You are very talented in your given endeavor (photoshopping/fic-writing, etc). Sometimes I wonder if I could ever achieve that level of skill. Please continue what you're doing; you are an inspiration.
Person on Tumblr: I want to have sex with you.
Translation: I want to have sex with you.
Levi Rivaille in The Walk Off (x)
SWIGGITY SWAEGER I’M EREN FUCKING JAEGER
Swiggity swaeger I fucked Eren Jaeger.
I am oddly okay with this.
i already reblogged this today but now there’s more